Imprès des de Indymedia Barcelona :
Independent Media Center
Notícies :: immigració
06 jun 2004
A short guide to Foreigners, who they are, what they want, what they're like etc.,

in really basic english.
Problem 1.
A lot of people are foreigners.

how do you know if you are a foreigner?
can you dance the sardana?
If you can dance the sardana you are not a foreigner. However in these days of modernisation and cultural exchange, many people are dancing the sardana.
So- you could be a foreign sardana dancer. The Do you have at least one ancestor who was dancing the sardana before 1714?
Then you are probably not a foreigner.
However in those days of modernisation and cultural exchange, many fine sardana dancers were displaced, and brought the sardana to such distant places as Argentina, Brazil and the USA.
So- you could be a foreign descendent of a sardana dancer.
Thus we see Sardana is no longer a suitable test for "foreigners".

What else can we suggest?

Do you speak foreign languages?
Oh well that's certainly a sign of being foreign, unless you speak Catalan or Basque in which case you're not foreign you're diverse.
Does your foreign language use roman letters or squiggly curved lines?
If the answer is "squiggly curved lines" then you are most certainly a foreigner.

Problem 2.
Why do foreigners come here?
Well this is very complicated, they'll tell you something about money, job, ambition, economics, being a refugee perhaps but the truth is the foreigner wants to bring their GOD to this land.
Do foreigners have God?
Oh yes, they do but it's a different type of God.
No candles, incense or 13th century vampires in coffins for their God.

Problem 3.
How many foreigners are there?
Loads. The world is filled with foreigners.
They can't properly be counted, because they don't all have papers yet.

Problem 4.
Are foreigners on our side?
OH well.
Let's look at a typical newspaper in today's Spain. Front page, loads of foreigners in a church, third page, other foreigners shaking hands.
THe first bunch of foreigners, are very poor.
They represent the poorest section of the services, agricultural, construction and general operative sectors.
(that's very intellectual jumped to pre intermediate there)
The second bunch of foreigners, are very rich.
Mr Bush is mega rich, and Mr chirac is mega rich too. They represent the richest section of the global economy, international arms trade and war machines.

Do these foreigners have anything in common?

God. and they're all threatening your security.
How are they doing that?

They're not counting all the foreigners, and they're trying to fool you into thinking some foreigners are less bad than others.

How can you avoid foreigners?
The answer is simple, never leave your country, you will always encounter foreigners if you go on holidays. You might also like to remember to bring a condom with you because foreigners invented AIDS.
If you avoid foreigners are you then avoiding AIDS?
yes. top scientists have proved it.

Will giving papers to all the illegal immigrants give us peace in our time?
(that's very philosophical)
Yes. When all the illegal immigrants have papers, there will be world peace, and no one will suffer hunger poverty or need condoms anymore.
Does regularisation of your documentation help with AIDS?
Yes. top scientists have proved it.

What is hunger poverty?
Hunger poverty, is a condition suffered by 30% of Europeans, (mostly foreigners) and means they don't have enough to eat.

If we use condoms, avoid foreigners, and ignore the illegal immigrants, will we still have the sardana?
Yes. But to guarantee future sardana dancers, you will have to stop using the condom. Now this causes many people problems, for it has been observed that many foreigners and illegal immigrants are very attractive. It would be a terrible blow to Catalan culture if foolish sardana dancers were to make little sardana dancers with a capoiera fan. That would be a recipe for AIDS.

Is the Pope a foreigner?
Oh yes. He's very foreign.

he got page 37

olé todos. que se vayan. muy irresponsable.
no vi ni un condom.

This work is in the public domain


you can notice that you have no hunger
06 jun 2004
if you where sufering you want be playing with such a charm...

anyway it is an easy way to go around life :P
Re: Foreigners!
07 jun 2004
never forget all foreigners are crypto-facists.
If you have a heavy door with a mattress outside it, a group of men may not easily enter.

The door to cloisters had from 04h15 a heavy mattress outside it. This was your exit.
You were able to open this door, without risk of anyone entering, you had time to close the door if anyone tried to enter.

.:. You then had an escape route to placa jaume (guardia urbana & mossos) or c/piedad to join with Pi or disperse.
Most sin papales in Barcelona are South American,
and since 1995 have been South American.
Workers are workers are workers.
Photo opportunities and press cut off points are the 01h00 = next day newspaper.
Sanctuary was not extended. 21h00 the "sacrements" were withdrawn. The cathedral "stopped" being a RC church.
in Pi, the rector hace tiempo "RIP" gave sanctuary.
In the Cathedral the decision to give sanctuary is with the Cardinal Bishop of el seu de BCN.
(estaba dormiendo) [nunca se despuerte un cardinal cuando esta dormiendo]
The cathedral has entry points through the church on the corner, and el seu de BCN. It is not possible to "secure" the building without that corner. It is thus simply an exercise in "radicalismo" to do so.
The cathedral has scaffolding giving entry to anyone outside through the roof, and security cameras at roof level inside. Thus it is impossible to secure the building.

At 03h30 the security guards of the Cathedral left the cathedral through the exit doors, to the offices of the cathedral which give access to the roof and galleries.
foreigners drink too much alcohol.
some foreigners don't drink alcohol they sell it you instead.
no se puede confiar en los estrañeros.
no saben parlar el catala.
quieren todos ser como ustedes.
foreigners come in all shapes and sizes.
some are big and fat some are small and thin.
Hunger Poverty means a reduction of essential vitamins and minerals, which leads to heart desiese, skin conditions, and weakness of liver and kidneys.
some foreigners have their own condoms.
you call these "tourists".
They are happy to pay to 6000€ to spend a month in 100m flat in the eixample.
most foreigners earn less than 6000€ a year.
Re: Foreigners!
07 jun 2004
Some foreigners have enought time to waste it writing dumb things in internet. Some foreigners should better fill their stomachs with beer as usual, in the usual pubs in Barcelona or Lloret, because that's what they really know how to do. There are nice foreigners and also nice natives, we can live toghether if we respect and help eachother. Most natives can't even dream of paying "6000€ to spend a month in 100m flat in the eixample" or even half the price just anywhere. Some foreigners should have known that. Most natives speak catalan and know that in their families, not so long ago, someone had to migrate from it's home to Catalunya or Germany or Switzerland. So they can understand to some extent what's being a foreigner unable to earn less than 6000€ a year, also because most natives don't earn much more.