Imprès des de Indymedia Barcelona :
Independent Media Center
Notícies :: antifeixisme
Netanyahu Blocked by Fight over Tom Brady Heterosexual Marriage
28 feb 2009
Truth is stranger than fiction.
Jesus Christ, the Jewish born Rabbi and Messiah of Christianity and Islam said, “You strain at gnats yet you swallow camels whole.” Thank God of Mount Sinai aka God the Father, Jesus Christ, The Holy Spirit, Yehovah, Elohim, I Am, Allah etc., Tiger Woods has returned to action. Without Tiger Woods golf had become so boring that even the Korean women stopped playing it. A hearty mazel tov to Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen who tied the knot in Santa Monica yesterday.

Tom Brady is a man and Gisele Bundchen is a woman. Think Adam and Eve. Leonardo DiCaprio, the male star of Titanic dumped Gisele Bundchen in 2005 and then met Bar Refaeli at a party for U2 and Bono in Las Vegas in 2006. Leonardo was swimming in women. Tom Brady’s arm propelled him to two Super Bowl MVP’s. George Bush’s decision to invade Iraq in 2003 was like knocking down the New Orleans dams containing now nuclear Iran, and cost the arms and legs of thousands of American men and women.

Shimon Peres tried to arrange a marriage between Benjamin Netan Yahoo! and Tzipi Livni but Tzipi took a pass because Jack Benny signed a two year conract with the Jets. Is Sir Elton John married? Yesterday Vladimir Putin, a regular Christian Russian Orthodox church goer signed a deal to build nuclear reactors for Jordan. Jordan is mainly composed of Muslim Palestinians. George Bush on his way out the door signed deals to build nuclear reactors for India and Saudi Arabia. Yesterday Iran flipped the switch on their Russian built nuclear reactor in Bushehr, Iran.

The lack of foresight on the part of our political leaders is astonishing. Human beings have to be both the most intelligent and least intelligent of any species ever created by a Jewish Rabbi. This week the US criticised China over their human rights record. China hit back at the US with a blistering attack on the domestic civil rights record of the United States, which didn’t even mention the carnage we have brought to Iraq in our insatiable quest for gasoline for our gas guzzlers.

In her divorce papers Tzipi Livni cited that she could not form a unity government with Benjamin Netan Yahoo! because he was not in favor of a two state solution. A couple of years ago Ehud Olmert and Tzipi Livni unilaterally withdrew Israel from Gaza. This caused Benjamin Netanyahu to storm out of the government in disgust. The withdrawal resulted in Hamas, an Iranian army taking control of Gaza and raining rockets on civilians in southern Israel as their main form of entertainment.

If you just mow your lawn and cut off the tops of the weeds, the weeds will always return unless you dig out the root of the weeds. The root cause of all of life on Earth’s problems is the 3 pound human brain. If every human being were to vanish off the face of the Earth today then Earth would return soon to being paradise, the Garden of Eden, for billions of years to come until the sun burns out.

Human beings are too smart for their own good. For millions of years up until the birth of Christ 2,000 years ago, the Earth had 1 million people. In the past 200 years the earth’s population exploded from a few hundred million to over 6 billion today, on its way to 9 billion if we survive another 40 years. Picture living in your car with 20,000 other people.

God put a million people on Earth because that is the number it can sustain and did sustain for 5 billion years. Then, human beings invented antibiotics and we killed off our natural predators, bacteria. Yes, that zit is our number one ally. An insane person is one who does not understand the nature and consequences of their actions. Penicillin was invented in the 1800’s by Louis Pasteur, Robert Koch, John Tyndall and Alexander Fleming. What seemed like the greatest invention since sliced bread is now bringing life on earth to its knees. Who knew?

In 1878 Karl Benz invented the car. Who knew that 130 years later this brilliant invention would lead to Russia and the United States of America going to nuclear world war III, the Apocalypse over earth’s gas station aka the Middle East?

An “ally” is when people unite for a specific purpose, like getting married. The Israeli Knesset has 120 seats. In order to form a government, Benjamin Netan Yahoo! has to form a coalition of 61 seats and then hold it together. Tzipi “won” by getting 28 seats for Kadima, and Benjamin Netanyahu got 27 seats. Because the right, the hawks got 65 seats and because Tzipi couldn’t find anyone to join her coalition, President Shimon Perez asked Ben to form the government.

Tzipi told Ben to buzz off because he doesn’t like the two state solution. Perhaps it sounds too much to him like the “Final Solution.” Has anyone read “Mein Kampf”, ie “My Struggle” or “My Campaign”? Hitler wrote it in prison. The US now has 2 million of its own citizens in prison.

People love to invent laws, especially laws controlling the sex lives of other people. Yesterday Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen got married in a small private ceremony. Tom wanted to have it during half time at the Super Bowl but the Patriots didn’t make it. After the civil ceremony Tom Brady, a sixth round draft choice in 2000, and Gisele Bundchen, the world’s top supermodel, made the marriage official at the St. Monica Catholic Church. Gisele Bundchen’s 3 dogs wore Dolce and Gabbana floral lace collars to match mommy. Pope Benedict XVI threw out the first pitch.

There are still a few fossils that we haven’t burned yet. Yesterday scientists from Australia and Britain examining the fossils of 400 million year old fish discovered that sex started a lot earlier than we thought. There is a huge outcry in the blogosphere against a new world order and globalisation. Since when has there been order in the world? Human beings invented borders and countries. Countries are a figment of our imagination. Look at the earth from outer space. Without countries the US isn’t in Iraq stealing their oil, and the people of earth are sharing the remaining resources. Obviously a one world government run by Adolf Hitler wouldn’t be great but our system is killing us all.

John Lennon sang, “Imagine there’s no countries, I hope one day you’ll join us and the world will live as one.” Benjamin Netanyahu may be able to form a coalition but it will be short lived. Ben is teaming up with Avigdor Lieberman, the bouncer from Moldova. In order to get Avigdor Lieberman Netanyahu had to promise him that Israel would recognize civil marriage unions without an Orthodox Jewish Religious ceremony. Judaism was invented 4,000 years ago by Abraham, Christianity 2,000 years ago, and Islam 1,400 years ago. Sharks have been having sex for 400 million years before these doomsday cults were invented by the 3 pound human brain. The male shark grabs onto the newly discovered fin aka arm aka pelvic bone and whatever.

Netanyahu is forming a coalition of hawks including the religious parties. The religious Shas party agreed to a compromise on Avigdor Lieberman’s civil union demand. The compromise is that in Israel civil marriages will be allowed, but only between Israeli non Jews. The matter is of significance because with marriage comes government financial benefits. It’s like friends with benefits, like Tom Brady’s 11/2 year old son with actress Bridget Moynahan, the star of “Lord of War.” Yesterday the spiritual mentor of United Torah Judaism and Degel Hatorah, Rabbi Yosef Shalom Elyashiv rejected the compromise solution allowing civil unions between non Jews in Israel. As nuclear Iran, Hamas and Hezbollah, and their backer Russia moves to nuclearally destroy Israel, Israel cannot form a government because Rabbi Elyashiv is demanding that Buddhists marrying in Israel can only do so in an Orthodox Jewish marriage ceremony. The sharks, they’re on their own.
Mira també:

This work is in the public domain
Sindicato Sindicat